PUMS Retreat notes

These are a few of the notes from the retreat day with When the Heart Waits


Did you know that once the caterpillar encloses itself in a chrysalis, it undergoes a crisis as the structure of its cellular tissue begins to dissolve into an organic soup or “mush”? Once there is complete mush in the chrysalis, a number of organizer cells begin to rush around gathering other cells to form “imaginal buds”. These imaginal buds are initially independent multicellular structures that begin to give form to the organs of a new creature. As this happens the caterpillars’s still intact immune system perceives “threat” to the old order and often attack these imaginal buds as alien intruders! The “creature” (or whatever it is at that point) actually attacks/resists it’s own growth and transformation. Eventually the imaginal buds win out by linking up together. And eventually a beautiful butterfly emerges as result of this mysterious metamorphasis. ttp://lloyd.vanderkwaak.com/2008/03/24/183

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The life of the spirit is never static, We’re born on one level, only to find some new struggle toward wholeness gestating within. That’s the sacred intent of life, of god - to move us continuously toward growth, toward recovering all that is lost and orphaned within us and restoring the divine image imprinted on our soul. And rarely do significant shifts come without a sense of our being lost in dark woods, or in what T.S. Eliot called the “vacant interstellar spaces” Kidd p. 4


p. 13- the Greek word for soul is psyche, and is often symbolized as a butterfly. Both the soul and the butterfly are metamorphosed. ...tempting..to think that the growth and emergence of my authentic self would happen with little time or effort on my part, that isn’t so. The fullness of one’s soul evolves slowly. We’re asked to go within to gestate the newness (the life of Christ)
God is trying to form; we’re asked to collaborate with grace.

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....waiting provides the time and space necessary for grace to happen. Spirit needs a container to pour itself into. Grace needs an arena in which to incarnate. Waiting can be such a place if we allow it.

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world but let yourselves be transformed by the renewal of your mind in Christ Jesus!

.p 14 in Kidd..
“In soul making we can’t bypass the cocoon. Whenever there are bright new wings, there’s always the husk (cocoon) of waiting somewhere in the corner. “

...Your soul is your greatest work of art.


p. 14... I wondered if waiting was the “missing link” in spiritual evolving, the lost and forgotten experience crucial to becoming fully human, fully Christian, fully ourselves..

...when important times of transition came for Jesus, he entered enclosures of waiting - the wilderness, a garden, the tomb. Jesus’ life was a balanced rhythm of waiting on God and expressing the fruits of that waiting.

God makes us ask ourselves questions most often when He intends to resolve them. He gives us needs that He alone can satisfy and awakens capacities that He means to fulfill. Any perplexity is liable to be a spiritual gestation, leading to a new birth and mystical regeneration
– Thomas Merton

p. 30 she talks about addiction to...the quick and easy

. 31 An addictive behavior “keeps us unaware of what is going on inside of us”
quick fix solutions (are) a way of escaping the slow pain of uncertainty and self confrontation.


Be still and know that I am God” Ps 46:10

Go to your cell and your cell will teach your everything. Monastic wisdom


p. 35 ...we tend to align ourselves with the rhythm and pace around us. If you want to stay in your waiting, you’ll need to refrain from the frantic pace around you. The important thing is to be still.


p 43 ....our soul is the patient part of us.....our extroverted society will do its best to pull us away from our waiting

78 A creature can separate from an old way of existence, enter into a time of metamorphosis, and emerge into a new level of being.
Separation
transformation
emergence

“inner maze of waiting”

larva....Egypt
cocoon ...wilderness
butterfly ....promised land

Sources of crisis
Developmental transition life stages
Intrusive Events death illness accident moves, empty nest, betrayal.. Etc..

Internal Uprisings, Inner agonies that flare up. Restlessness, search for calling/purpose, stress, burnout..yearning

faith crisis ..fear//doubt

"A crisis is a holy summons to cross a threshold" p. 86

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.p. 88
two common responses to crisis
1) “Fatalist/faithful...”It is Gods will” and force ourselves into outward acceptance....but very little inner work .trying to find comfort and peace of mind..
Or
2) reject the crisis ...fight it until we become cynical or suffer loss of faith ..goal is justice

3rd way.
“The way of waiting." Creating a painfully honest and contemplative relationship with ones own depth, with God in the center of ones soul. People who choose this way aren’t so much after peace of mind, or justice..(But are looking for) wholeness and transformation. They are after soul making.

You discover that the stormy experience can be an agent drawing you deeper into the kingdom, separating you from the old consciousness and the clamp of the ego.

....Martin Marty... “Brokenness and wounding do not occur in order to break human dignity but to open the heart so God can act.



P. 89 Luke 13:24
enter the narrow gate... Which only a few folks find.... You do it by way of tight, difficult uncomfortable places that separate you form the rest of the herd.

Gk word is
strive to enter ...
agonize


Chpter 5 Letting Go

Galatians 2:20 It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me...


PART 4 Transformation

Chpt 6 Concentrated Stillness
“The cremester” P. 126 Read the definition of cremaster...What serves as your anchor point..your still point.?
Still point
sitting at Jesus’ feet
watching/waiting..same root word in Hebrew
resting/praying .137 share the same Greek word
beggar, waiting on side of the road

p. 129 Eugene Peterson The assumption of spirituality is that always God is doing something before I know it.. So the task is not to get God doing something I think needs to be done, but to become aware of what God is doing so that I can respond to it and participate and take delight in it.”


..129" This is the motivation behind waiting prayer. We place ourselves in postures of the heart, in the stillness that enables us to become aware of what God is doing so that we can gradually say yes to it with our whole being.”



the most significant events for Jesus took place in darkness:
birth
arrest
death
and resurrection.. Johns says “while it was still dark, Mary went to the tomb..”
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.156 To “let him easter in us” is to let the Christ life incubate within the darkness of our waiting. “



If I have inside me the stuff to make cocoons, maybe the stuff of butterflies is there too.. Trina Paulus


They that wait upon the lord....
Shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings....

May Christ be born in you!
Spiritual gifts/gifts of the soul
lean how to be present to life, attunement, love of others..awake, aware... at-one-ment “atonement’


Compassion is the aim of spiritual growth..to be formed into Christ..to be filled with the love of God...